Don't Come A-Knockin'

This is an open letter to Lance Bass,

I know we are so xeft (our new word), but don't think you can make us your rebound boyz. Your break up with Reichen must be difficult, but if you read any of posts on our blog you would know that we are 100% straight. We do live together with our adopted son Meck, but that doesn't make us gay (And Perez - you better not say ANYTHING!) We cannot offer any type of comfort you need, go to the Boyz Room and watch the Go Go Idol contest and get an ironic make out with the East Village's finest gays.

Our new BFF of the week:

Hey everyone meet Brenda Barnes, our yerkest (our new word) best friend. She's CEO and President of Sara Lee. We met her at a yerk party on the LES. We were cater waiting and Brenda took a liking to us because we kept "bringing the Bellinis!" We told her we were so impressed with her footware and she took us to her house! Well, we said that we housekeep on the side, but still so yerk. We told her about how we shined Moby's shoes while he was on tour and she just had to hire us. We drank Van Gogh Martinis and ate East Bolivian yak cheese together...I mean she was asleep while we were supposed to be scrubbing her bathroom tile, but still, we were under the same roof! See you next Wednesday Brenda!

Collar Alert:

COLLARS UP IF YOU SMELL LIKE TEEN SPIRIT!
stay tuned for up-to-the-minute collar coverage only on Oh My God.

Celeb Product of the Week:

We are huge supporters of the product. It's so plart (our new word). Just because we don't want to see a gal's gaping hole of desire doesn't mean we're gay. Here, here Miss Manners!