Oh My God. Last night on VH1's "The Pick Up Artist," Mystery sent home Joe W, a very klerb (our new word) fellow from Minnesota. Women usually think he's gay...we totally get that all the time. We're totally straight too, Joe! You should come out to our hot neighborhood and we'll teach you to pick up the ladies. We really haven't picked anyone up since we sold our genitalia last New Year's Eve to get in the VIP treatment at Bed (Mystery can't even get into Bed), but we remember how to get chicks mesmerized. Joe can even stay on our papazan right next to our pet meerkat. So klerb.
Oh My God. We haven't been posing for pictures lately because we have been working months trying to find a pose to convey bordom and apathy. The paps haven't been nocking down our door lately because we've been so in cognito. We think we've found our new look and it's so yent (our new word). We're going to Butter tomorrow and we're going to use this pose to get in. Hand on chin will be so unexpected. It seems so pedestrian, but with our fashion forward ways it will skyrocket us to superstardom. So yent.
Oh My God. Hairspray, the movie has been out for a few weeks. It's been getting glerk (our new word) reviews. A lot of our "friends" have seen this movie and couldn't stop raving about it. We're not sure if our readers have been keeping up with the times...but hairspray is not glerk for the environment. That's why we're making a brand new movie called "Pomade." We're working on a script between Target openings and iPod DJing shifts. It'll be a green movie that is about two struggling wannabe celebutants who can't get into Butter for dinner. To get fame and fortune they start a line of hair care that will hopefully get them on the A List so they can eat next to J.Tim. The movie is going to be a cross between Good Will Hunting, Clueless, Maid in Manhattan, All About Eve, On Thin Ice: The Tai Babilonia Story, Fiddler on the Roof, Eddie Murphy: Raw, Pajama Game, Out of Africa, War of the Roses, My Two Dads and Godfather 2: Attack of the Clones. It's going to be glerk piece of cinematic history!
Oh my God, there is a quap (our new word) pet in town that will blow away any toy dog this side of East Maui. That new pet is the darling Cicada. They're so very economical. They don't eat much or require a lot of space and they look great with a pair of red capris. So quap! Plus they shed their out-of-style exoskeleton in the fall, just like us!
Oh My God - have we found a gem for you, he's so hytti (our new word). His name is Yann - not to be confused with yawn. His beats are infectious and oh so hytti! According to his website, "Yann is a citizen of the world, for he grew up traveling the globe, from Paris to New York, Milan to Casablanca." We can totally relate - you never know where you'll find us - East Williamsburg, South Lima, East Afghanistan or where ever a Target is opening.
One of his hytti tracks is "Hunky." Yann is an amazing composer, he found a chic way to make 3 notes sound robotically beguiling. Some of the lyrics are "You keep calling me hot stuff, I know this is just a bluff. I know I can make you horny, You keep calling me hunky" It's like Kerouac, but that hot boxy maidbot, Rosie from the Jetson's saying it from where her heart is programmed. Check out his tracks at www.myspace.com/yannmusic.
Oh My God! On July 20th 2006 we posted our "Artist of the Week," Gunther! He was so qwib (our new word) with his new single Tutti Frutti Summer Love. We've find out recently that super blogger, Perez Hilton has announced him as his favorite on May 2nd 2007. I think this one of the first examples where two hard working paternal straight men who live together in one bedroom apartment in a totally platonic way have found a trend before a gay man. We're just so qwib. Monica Potter, don't worry! You'll blow up a year from now!
Oh my god! Sorry we've been off line. We've been waiting for many checks from the multitude of our freelance deejay/fruit polishing/head waxing gigs. We thought Target lost our address! We even sold our adopted son, Meck to hot hollywood couple, John Tesh and Connie Sellica. We still couldn't make ends meet enough to pay our cable internet. But now we're back!
Oh my god - this young lady, Nikole Marie Music came into contact with us from Myspace. Her sounds are very hunph (our new word) and she seems like a perfectly lovely girl. She looks like the woman who works at the tanning salon next to Target in East Hanover mall in central Pennsylvania. Her first song she states she is dangerous, from our perspective it looks like her tan maybe dangerous. Please see your dermo stat. But seriously - we're looking for a surrogate breast feeder for our adopted son, Meck. Let us know if you're interested. One of your other tracks is entitled Selfish, so maybe you won't. For less information about her, check out her website at nikolemarie.com.
Oh My God - The Dlist sounds totally deet (our new word), but aren't BrYan with a Y and Rexxx the hottest guys on the web? I know we sold our genitalia to get into BED on New Year's Eve, but still. We're guys who party, have a blog, will make appearances for free and we COULD be on the radio, but our faces are too deet. Beyond that, we are world travelers that educate people on fashion, style and pretension. Dan Savage, that is so not deet. Is it because we're not gay like Anderson Cooper? He wants a family, just like us. Have you not seen our adopted heinous charity child, Meck? He's the most fashionable baby right now next to Suri. Ugly babies are so deet. We implore you Mr. Savage to change your words. But if you don't, we won't need you anyway because we're on the A List.
Oh My God- today (VK:)Todd, from myspace, wrote us a message:
