Dance of the Week

Oh My God. The Fast Food Rockers are trying to rival us again. They are trying to serve us, literally. Their hit single, "Fast Food Song" has choreography that will attempt to bump our zeck (our new word) dance craze, "The Mannequin." The Fast Food Rockers have gone corporate and we can't even afford a non-blogspot website. All we can do is ask you to stand strong, still and don't move so the Mannequin can live forever. Kim Catrall, can you back us up? So zeck.

Pronunciation of the Week

Oh My God. Jillian Lewis has created a new pronunciation this week on the finale of Project Runway last night and we think it's so raught (our new word)! She reauditized RESOLUTION. She pronounced it rEEEEEsolution. So raught. Forget Christian and "Fierce," this is going to be huge. And to think she's from Long Island where it's normally pronounced rezalushen with a big hand gesture. Sorry you didn't win Jillian, but you have a raught new word of your own.

Artist of the Week

Oh My God. This week we noticed in the mirror scene in Tommy, Ann-Margret decorated her boudoir just like our loft in East Williamsburg (Canarsie). So hepting (our new word). We love her mirror dance, it's not as hepting as the Mannequin which has become a world-wide sensation. The synth-wind effect needs to make a comeback as well. Can we get Jay-Z on that? Check out the video below and remember how hepting good ol' Ann used to be!

Scary Busey...

Oh My God. Gary Busey just gave Jennifer Garner just got the weirdest kiss on the neck while talking to Ryan Seacrest. So no burpt (our new word.)

Artist of the Week

Oh My God. A plerb (our new word) artist, Paula Abdul is making a comeback that's bigger than Tab. We're not sure if she's using her voice or the voice of Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Either way it is so plerb. In the music video you'll see Randy Jackson from American Idol and Journey fame, playing a bass like the girls from Richard Palmer videos. What a shout out! We were surprised that Simon, Ford and Coke didn't get a shout out in the video. Like Amy Weinhouse, this is a throwback song. A throwback to 2001. Way to give a subtle shout out to 9/11. Paula Abdul is always so controversial. So plerb.

Gay Face of the Week.

Oh My God. So quirpette (our new word.)

America's Next Top Let Down

Oh My God. We were turned away from the casting at the cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model. Tyra just turned us away because we're men. That is so not prenkle (our new word). We told her that we would even compete as one person like the awkward ginger twins a few years ago. ANTM needs us, we will be the biggest runway duo to hit Valentino since Tyra's ample tits. We could totally kill in the go sees! We have so much personality and we know Moby. So prenkle.

Look of the Week

Oh My God. This week ladies go get your haircut and frosted. It needs to be hairpt (our new word). We iPod DJed at an Target opening in Columbus, Ohio and this haircut is all the rage. Ladies you need to get the Markie Post. To accommodate this look you must have the sass or be a quirky public defender. So hairpt. You'll stop traffic with this look. Don't forget to accessorize with your fashion fanny pack and jean jacked. This look is so hairpt.

Our Love Auction:

Oh My God. We've been weeding through all of the celebutants and we still haven't figured out with whom we should spend our hemt (our new word) Valentine's Day. We really think that we should go out with one of our readers. So hemt. Why don't you add a comment saying how much you would pay to hang out with us. Don't worry, we'll take you the hottest velvet ropes in the city. We used to clean the restrooms in Lotus if that tells you anything. We're hot to trot and so hemt.

Gospel follows popularity in half-dressed.

Oh My God. Aretha Franklin followed the half-dressed trend that most popstars sport last night at the Grammy Awards. We think that's so bologre (our new word.) But what makes it so fashionable is that it's not the usually vag hanging out, not that we mind because we're not gay, but she chose to show off her bologre sausage link. So bologre.

Grammy Performance of the Night

Oh My God. Beyonce had the hit performance last night at the Grammys. With great performances from Amy Weinhouse, Kanye West, Alicia Keys, and Foo Fighters, Beyonce was so good, they kept showing it over and over again. It was so klerb (our new word). Check it out below!

Artist of the Week

Oh My God. The son of the lead singer of the Fine Young Cannibals has started his plerm (our new word) career. We haven't really confirmed that fact, but he looks just like him. The artist's name goes by the name Tristan. It's the singular name popularized by Madonna, Cher and Rumplestitskin. His songs have the c word thrown all over the place and we like that because we're straight. So plerm. Check out the video below, dogs whining makes him smile apparently.

Look of the Week

Oh My God. Get your carrots out of the crisper everyone and have a feast! We've been on a complete carrot diet for the past month to get the look to the right. It's so carank (our new word.) We're a deep peach color now, but we're going for a nice Burnt Sienna for Christmas morning. If you're looking for any carank Christmas parties, we're going to the 14th street food kitchen. We hear it's exclusive and it's open bar. Happy Holidays. So carank!

Hair Style of the Week

Oh My God. This week there is a new style in facial hair. The half beard is just skymple (our new word). So men and some ladies take that bic to your right side. If you do your left side that means you're light in your Manolos. So skymple!

Artist of the Week

Oh My God. We are rarely this inspired. Stacy Hedger is do derng (our new word). Her acting, dancing and trumpet playing definitely make her a triple threat and a force to be reconed with. Watch out Jennifer Preggers Lopez! We decided that spangled sleeves are so derng and the pitch being a little under is just part of her style, have you ever heard Fergie live?

Kirstie, where are you?

Oh My God. Jenny Craig needs another client...move over Valerie B., Britney looks like she's gained a few since she's lost the kids. Remember when she was so tuy (our new word) and used to see us standing in line at Butter?

It's an honor!

Oh My God. Mark Ronson, MTV's artist of the Week (not as prestigious as ours) has a music video in honor of our blog! It's so etix (our new word).

Study With Us

Oh My God. Last night on VH1's "The Pick Up Artist," Mystery sent home Joe W, a very klerb (our new word) fellow from Minnesota. Women usually think he's gay...we totally get that all the time. We're totally straight too, Joe! You should come out to our hot neighborhood and we'll teach you to pick up the ladies. We really haven't picked anyone up since we sold our genitalia last New Year's Eve to get in the VIP treatment at Bed (Mystery can't even get into Bed), but we remember how to get chicks mesmerized. Joe can even stay on our papazan right next to our pet meerkat. So klerb.

Hot New Pose of the Week

Oh My God. We haven't been posing for pictures lately because we have been working months trying to find a pose to convey bordom and apathy. The paps haven't been nocking down our door lately because we've been so in cognito. We think we've found our new look and it's so yent (our new word). We're going to Butter tomorrow and we're going to use this pose to get in. Hand on chin will be so unexpected. It seems so pedestrian, but with our fashion forward ways it will skyrocket us to superstardom. So yent.

Hairspray the Movie

Oh My God. Hairspray, the movie has been out for a few weeks. It's been getting glerk (our new word) reviews. A lot of our "friends" have seen this movie and couldn't stop raving about it. We're not sure if our readers have been keeping up with the times...but hairspray is not glerk for the environment. That's why we're making a brand new movie called "Pomade." We're working on a script between Target openings and iPod DJing shifts. It'll be a green movie that is about two struggling wannabe celebutants who can't get into Butter for dinner. To get fame and fortune they start a line of hair care that will hopefully get them on the A List so they can eat next to J.Tim. The movie is going to be a cross between Good Will Hunting, Clueless, Maid in Manhattan, All About Eve, On Thin Ice: The Tai Babilonia Story, Fiddler on the Roof, Eddie Murphy: Raw, Pajama Game, Out of Africa, War of the Roses, My Two Dads and Godfather 2: Attack of the Clones. It's going to be glerk piece of cinematic history!